Im turning into the type of person i always feared about becoming, please help?

Giving up is never the answer for any problem you have. You should have more pride and dignity than to give up and be thought of as a failure. Stop giving "everyone" else the power over you to determine how and what you should be. From the above comments you have some writing skills. You made perfectly clear your wants. By the age of 19 I had three children and 1 drowned in the bathtub. I was smacked around and talked to like a piece of crap. I didnt finish high school and had 2 kids to take care of so trying to get back to schoool was laughable. I was stuck in a terrible cycle for 7 years. But one day I heard someone say, people that let others control them will be just that, controlled. I started choosing to like me. Choosing to be smart. Choosing to walk around the block and smile and say hello to everyone I ped. After a while of this when I walked by people smiled and said hi. I know you have had it hard. But there is NEVER a reason to give up. Why give your control up to "feelings" to people who dont mean anymore in life than you do? As far as wanting to be someone other than yourself. Well most people, if asked think that they have huge flaws that they wish they could change about theselves. We as a society have become so obsessed with the idea of perfection we forgot that NO ONE IS PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!